Brochure 3 Xhosa

Ukukhulisa abantwana abazithembileyo.

Makhe sijonge kwawona maxhoba abaxhaphazi babantwana – Abantwana bethu.

   Inkcazo ecacileyo, hayi nje kuphela iimpawu zamaxhoba ababhomeli babantwana nabaxhaphazi babantwana ngokwesonde yile:

Abantwana ababuthathatka nabadidekileyo.

Abantwana abangafumenanga thando lwaneleyo.

Abantwana abangafumenanga sihoyo ngokomzimba nongokwemvakalelo.

Abantwana abashiywe bodwa okanye abo kufuneka bezijongile.

Abantwana abakwiimeko apho kungekho bantu badala abanenkathalo yokubajonga.

Abantwana abahlala kumakhaya ekusetyenziswa kuwo iziyobisi.

Nawuphi na umntwana. Abantwana bethu.

Abantu abangamarhamncwa esondo baxhomekeka ekubeni abantwana bazive bengenamandla, bebuthathaka kwaye bedidekile.

Abaxhaphazi akululanga ukuba bangaxhaphaza abantwana abazithembileyo, abanokuzithemba nabanolwazi olululo. Kufuneka

sikhulise abantwana abanokuzithemba nabayaziyo into yokuba babalulekile kwaye baxabisekile njengabantu abakhethekileyo

nabahle. Abantwana abaqinisekileyo ngalo nto bayithethayo, nabanokuthetha ngokukhwaza xa bezibona bekwimeko

enganobungozi [abantwana abazithembileyo]. Abantwana abanolwazi ngeengozi zokuphathwa gadalala ngokwesondo [abantwana abanolwazi].

 

Sikwenza njani oku?

Sakha ukuzithemba kubantwana bethu. Sibafundisa ukuba bathethele phezulu, kwaye sibafundisa konke oku kwixabiso lobudala babo elifanelekileyo ngendlela engoyikisiyo.

 

Khulisa umntwana ozithembileyo nozixabisileyo.

   Kholelwa kumntwana wakho kwaye kubonakalise oko – mazise ukuba ungumntwana oxabisekileyo, othandekayo

nokhethekileyo.

   Mncome kwaye umnike inkuthazo eyiyo – umntwana wakho uqikelela ixabiso lakhe nempumelelo yakhe ngokwendlela ocinga ngayo ngaye. “Ngxatsho ke, ibinzima le nto, kodwa uyikwazile ukuyenza” oku kuyingoma etsho kamnandi kwiindlebe zabantwana.

   Mqinisekise umntwana wakho ukuba kulungile ukwenza impazamo kwaye oko kuyinxalenye yokukhula.

   Ziqhelise ukumamela ngomdla nothakazelelo – mamelisisa, kuphinde oko ukuvileyo ukuze uqinisekise ukuba uya kuqonda

kwaye bonakalisa umdla ukuze ukhuthaze umntwana wakho aqhubekeke ethetha nawe.

   Yamkela uvakalelo lomntwana wakho – kwaye umncede ekuluvakaliseni ngomlomo.

   Gxeka isimo, hayi umntwana – kulula ke ukuwa kulo mgibe, kodwa ukugxekwa kakhulu kuxelela umntwana wakho ukuba

ungumntwana ongcolileyo kwaye wehlelwa zizinto ngenxa yobutyhakala bakhe. Oku kuyonakalisa ingakumbi xa kuqhubekeka

ixesha elide. Yicacise into yokuba sisenzo esikwenza uqumbe okanye sisimo ongasithandiyo.

   Hlonipha iminqeno yomntwana wakho, nokuba ikhangeleka idika kuwe – thathele ingqalelo eyiyo kubahlobo bomntwana wakho, koko kwenzeka esikolweni, kwaye hlomla ukumbonisa ukuba ummamele.

   Kwamkele ukoyika okanye ukungazithemba anokuba nako umntwana wakho njengento eqhelekileyo – nokuba kukhangeleka

iyinot yemihla ngemihla kuwe musa ukukubetha ngoyaba oku. Ukuba umntwana wakho uthi: “Ndiyabethakala kwizibalo”, iti:

“zikhangeleka zikunzimela izibalo, ndingakuncedisa njani?”

   Mkhuthaze ukuba azimele – mkhuthaze umntwana wakho ukuba awathabathe amathuba amvelelayo kwaye azame ukwenza

izintomezintsha. Impumelelo iyakukhuthaza kakhulu ukuzithemba, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha umntwana wakhe kuza kufuneka afunde ngeempazamo zakhe.

   Hleka nomntwana wakho – ungaze uhleke yena.

   Qwalasela impumelelo yomntwana wakho – ukudada, umculo, nantoni na anokuphumelela kuyo.

   Musa ukumngxolisa okanye umthuke umntwana wakho – oku kungaphezulu kunokumbetha.

   Sebenzisa uhlobo loluleko olungazi kumvisa ubuhlungu, usizi okanye ukumthobela phantsi umntwana wakho.

 

 

Ukukhulisa abantwana abazithembileyo

   Izinto ozithethayo ngawe zinakho ukonakalisa ukuzixabisa emntwaneni. Abantwana bafundi kakhulu ngokulinganisa izinto

ezenziwa ngabantu abadala abahlala nabo.

   Ukuba awujongani ngokufanelekileyo neemeko ezithile kwanoxinzelelo, umntwana wakho angakhathazeka ngenxa yeengcinga zokuba awukwazi kumelana neenzima nemingeni yobomi. Oku akunakuze kunime umntwana wakho umzekelo omhle nowesimo sokuzithemba ebomini kananjalo nowokujongana kakuhle neengxaki. Cingisisa phambi kokuba uthethe uze ukhethe amagama akho ngenkathalo – kulula kakhulu ukuthetha into ungakhange ucingisise, ngamanye amaxesha unqwene ukuba sekwabe ungayithethanga. Ukuthetha kakubi kakhulu nomntwana kungamenza akholelwe ukuba usisidenge kwaye akukho nto intle anokuyenza.

 

Ubafundisa njani abantwana bakho babe nokuzithemba [Ngoncedo olulungisiweyo lukaJan Wagner – Safe Kids]

   Funda ukuthi HAYI! Kubantu abadala, kwaye ukwenza oko ungenaxhala lokuba umntu omdala uza kukhathazeka.

gokuphathelele kukhuseleko, nawuphi umntu omdala ocinga kakuhle uyakuyiqonda ukuba umntwana uthe HAYI kuba uzive

exhalabile kwaye ulandela uvakalelo lwakhe / into esengqondweni yakhe.

   Mfundise umntwana wakho ukuba khwaze: “Ayingomama okanye utata wam lo”, okanye :”Lo mntu uzama ukundithatha”, xa ekwimeko apho kukho umntu angamaziyo ozama ukumthatha ahambe naye. Xa bekwazi ukukhwaza kakhulu kukona kungcono.

   Abo babukeleyo banakho ukucinga ukuba ngumntwana nje ozama ukuba neenkani kumzali wakhe, kodwa za umntwana

ekhwaza la mazwi angasentla, abantu bangathi qwa banike ingqwalasela base bancede.

   Mfundise umntwana wakho ukuba KULUNGILE ukuqhawula incoko nomntu omdala xa beziva bengakhululekanga yinto yokuba incoko leyo ifuna ukutenxa. Yima uze umnke ngoko nangoko. Amanakani engqondo athanda ukuhlala echanekile.   

   Umntu okwaziyo ukucinga kakuhle nongenabungozi uza kuyiqonda into yokuba umntwana angakhululeki kwaye afune ukuyeka incoko emnke.

   Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba ABALEKE aze AXELE ukuba kukho umntu amcela ukuba ayigcine iyimfihlo into emenza

angakhululeki okanye azive engakhuselekanga. Kananjalo, ukuba umntu uthi makathule ngento eyenzekileyo, MAKABALEKE

kwaye AXELE.

   Fundisa umntwana wakho ngomzimba wakhe yedwa. Umzimba wam NGOWAM. Akukho mntu unelungelo lokuwubamba, kwaye akukho mntu kufuneka ndimbonise amalungu am angasese. Amalungu angasese ngalawo agqunywe ngesinxibo sokudada.

   Kwakhona, MABALEKA aze AXELE ukuba kukho bani uzama ukubamda okanye ukubona amalungu akhe angasese.

   Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba wena [mzali] uya kumxhasa nokuba sekutheni, xa ethe wamamela uvakalelo lwakhe.

   Umzekelo, oku uza kukwenza ukuba uye akahlonipha ummelwane kuba uthe wabona kunyanzelekile ayeke incoko, okanye uye akahlonipha kuba ethe HAYI emntwini, kuba evakalelwe kukuba akakhululekanga okanye akakhuselekange. Mxhase umntwana wakho – oku kuza kumnceda azuze ukuzithemba kwaye kuya kukumqinisekisa ukuba angathetha nawe nangantoni na kwaye uza kumkholelwa.

   Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba angakuxelela nantoni na kwaye akuyi kuba nomsindo, udane okanye wothuke, kungenjalo

ungamelana nayo nayiphi na into abanokukuxelela yona. Mamela umntwana wakho.

 

Fundisa ngendlela engoyikisiyo nehambelana nobudala bomntwana ngeengozi zokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana

ngokwesondo. Fundisa umntwana wakho:

   Asinguye wonke umntu ongalunganga, kodwa kukho abantu phandl’apha abanakho ukwenzakalisa abantwana.

Akunakuthenjwa wonke umntu omdala okanye abantwana asele bekhulile – babonise abantwana bakho ukuba bangathemba bani na.

   Fundisa abantwana bakho ngemizimba yabo, usebenzise isigama esilungileyo samalungu omzimba.

   Fundisa abantwana bakho ngemithetho yokuzikhusela esisiseko efana nale:

Mabaqinisekise kuwe phambi kokuba bahambe nabani na, baye naphi na.

Mabangayishiyi indawo kawonke-wonke behamba nomnye umntu onokubathatha babe kwindawo eyodwa.

Kufuneka usoloko ukwindawo enabantu abaninzi.

 

Yila inombolo ethile eza kwaziwa nguwe nomntwana wakho kuphela neza kusetyenziswa kuphela xa umzekelo, kukho umntu

ongomnye oza kumlanda esikolweni. Ukuba lo mntu akamniki le nombolo yaziwa nini nobanini nomntwana wakho, umntwana

wakho makangavumi ukuhamba naye; kwaye kufuneka axelele utitshala okanye omnye umntu omdala ngale nto.

 

Musa ukumthuma umntwana wakhe enze imisetyenzana ngaphandle – umzekelo aye evenkileni, okanye kummelwane. Oku

kungavukeka amathuba okubiwa okanye okuxhatshazwa ngokuphathwa gadalala.

 

Yazi inkqubo yemihla ngemihla yomntwana wakho nokuba ngexesha elithile sukube ekunye nabani. Bafundise ukuba xa

betshintsha le nkqubo yabo yemihla ngemihla nangasiphi na isizathu, mabaqale baqinisekise kuwe kuqala.

 

Kufuneka ube nendawo engenye ekhuselekileyo abanokuya kuyo abantwana bakho xa ungekho ekhaya.

Abantwana abanokuzithemba, abazithembileyo nabanolwazi ambalwa kakhulu amathuba okuba bangangamaxhoba

okuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo.

 

Translations done by Mr Xolani Mavela

 

© Norah Papanicolaou