Stages of Role-model needs for boys.


Birth to age 6

†† The mother is the central figure. Dad doesnít really play a big part yet, as mom is the one who provides everything [the idís needs]. And the child knows this. This is also the stage where he falls in love with his mother and identifies internally, that he is at war with dad over the affection for his mother. He stands at the bedroom window with his mom and watches his dad go to work in the morning. He wants to be at her side all the time.



Age 6 to 12

†† The little boy recognises that he needs to be more like dad in order to get his motherís attention and affection. He realises the need and insists upon, the attention of his father. He wants to spend more time with dad in order to learn more about being like dad. He relates to everything his dad does Ė he internalises it and takes it for himself as, this is how a man behaves. His father is god in his life. Now, he wants to leave for work with his dad, while his mother stays at home.



Age 12 to 16

†† This is a crucial age where the little boy believes he has learnt most of what he could from dad. He is no longer in love with his mother and no longer needs to be at war with his father for her affection.


†† He now seeks external role-models and this is where some young boys go awry.


†† Boys need to find someone who has good moral standing and is the fabric of society in order for them not to be way-laid by gangs, drugs and delinquent behaviour. These role-models can be peers or adults. The boys find a place to belong, where they are accepted and they live the lives of the role-model. Where there is no role-model, the delinquency can show its face.




Why boys need positive role-models.